For whatever reason, I've been lost in a sea of blah lately. I have zero motivation, zero ambition. The most mundane things sit and sit and sit. My procrastinating nature has taken hold and is choking the life out of me.
I do this when I train. It, for me, is the WORST PART of training. I justify my BLOWING OFF EVERY RESPONSIBILITY I HAVE with, "I've been running so much. I'm tired. I DESERVE to plop down and rest for a while."
But my family DESERVES all of me. And I find this so difficult to balance, because in actuality, I feel like a worthless piece of crap when I allow myself to get so lazy.
Lazy.
But...
The running - it is SO GOOD. Monday I ran with Kim and another girl from the running club, both of whom are much speedier runners than I am. They were so nice to hang with me (they both knew that prospective pace going into the run) and at the same time PUSH me. I finished just over 5 miles with an average pace of 10:16. Which sounds like no big deal to many of you, but for me? HUGE. For some perspective, the only run in my ENTIRE training log with an average pace faster? My 5k PR.
So Tuesday, I didn't even want to run (my laziness is running over into my running - that's when I KNOW shit needs to change). It was a STUNNING day - 50s and sunny - and I couldn't get my butt out the door. After getting the kids dinner, I finally made it out (read: my husband kicked my ass out the door) and do you know, I went EVEN FASTER than Monday? 5.7 miles. Average pace of 10:02!!!!!!! I was dialed in to a 9:40 pace, and my legs weren't having any part of going slower. I still took my walk break every mile, mostly just to catch my breath, but everything just clicked.
So now, an easy run tonight, and a half marathon on Saturday.
I'd feel better about it if I could drag myself out of my lazy funk - I'm hoping that spewing it out there to you guys will help me. I don't like myself when I get like this. All that aside, I feel really good about this race. About how far I've come.
But I still have a ways to go.
I totally hear you. With my sore hip/ knee I have been really lazy. Which I know is the total opposite of what I should do. It is weird I read your blog (and others) and I am so happy for you , in tears happy-, so jealous that I am not there. So pissed that I am not there. Roller coaster of emotions lately!!!! But I am so so proud of you!!! I cant wait to hear about your half marathon this weekend. I have the radio on right now (which is the music that I run to) and I can see myself running down the road. Craziness.
ReplyDeleteKICK BUTT THIS WEEKEND!!!!
Good luck this weekend!! Maybe racing with other people is just what you need to breathe some motivation back into your running.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your race on sat. I know awhile back I was in a slump. I've had to get my butt out of it because my mileage need to come up for my 20k in JUNE. I want everything to stay the same as last year and it is not. My running partner and I have not been able to get together to run like last year. That make me depressed and lazy. I'm trying really hard to run my long runs solo. I am getting her're done but it is not easy. Hang in there you get threw this.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your race! At the end of a training program I always feel lazy and like i just want the race over with already
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! I've been taking it easy/procrastinating because of an injury and a huge university assignment. I literally just texted an apology to my husband for dropping the ball as a wife this week. Good thing the man can cook :)
ReplyDeleteCan I just say DITTO? To this whole post? Seriously. I have done NOTHING productive this week. BUT I ran 6 miles Tuesday night at 9:49 pace! Craziness! And here's where the laziness comes in. I'm supposed to be running an easy run tonight too, but I'm blowing it off. I just. don't. wanna. I've got a half Saturday too, so I was only planning on running 3 or 4 easy miles, and I just hate the thought of changing and getting all sweaty and shit for a workout that short. lol Then I would just have to take a shower and all, and frankly I'd rather sit on my butt and drink a bloody mary.
ReplyDeleteMust be something in the air. I've been blah all week too. Worse this week than other weeks, although it's been escalating. I think I'm just NEEDING some real spring weather.
ReplyDeleteBobbi! You did great! And sometimes the blahs are okay to have, so don't beat yourself up about them. When you can move, you can move! Good luck on the half this weekend. You will do yourself, and us, proud.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be awesome ... some of my best races have been after a week of feeling like bunk! Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteYou will snap out of it - if nothing else the motivation on race day will give you renewed energy. Great job on the run though! I think those are great times! I'm a super slow runner, so I always think if I could just get to around a 10 minute pace I will be one happy camper!
ReplyDeleteah, the running funk...no explanation for why they happen, but they definitely happen to all of us. I find that a couple days off with some gentle hiking gets me recharged and out of the funk.
ReplyDeleteKudos on booking one of your fastest runs! I love that feeling! Proof that you are improving.
It's so great when a run goes better than expected! I hope you get out of your funk, it does feel so hard to balance life with running. Good luck this weekend!
ReplyDeleteLove this post and can totally relate. I think sometimes we need to take a day or two.... I usually end up missing running and more than ready to get back to it.
ReplyDeleteYou've come a long way, baby!! Good luck tomorrow - you're going to kill that half!!
It must be a training thing, because I am totally feeling this way too. I just want to sit. And be left alone. Or sleep. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteBut, you must be doing something right if your running is oging so well!!!
Sounds like Kim and the running club are doing wonders for you. I think it's a lazy time of year because I am too.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and have fun at yur race!
Yay! I am SO glad to hear I wasn't the only lazy person. Except I was lazy in running! But, I totally know what you mean on the other fronts!
ReplyDelete