Comfort Zone

I miss this place. But lately I come here and stare at blank white empty space and nothing comes out.

Yesterday I came across this gem on Paulo Coelho's facebook. And it took hold and stirred up my insides and got me thinking again. And today, I'm still thinking about it.

The past 2 years have been amazing gigantic transformative years for me. And coming here to talk about everything, everything new, everything I was afraid of, seemed natural and right.

But somehow, at the end of another magnificent year, I've been at a loss for words. Granted, this time of year is a wistful, melancholy, introspective time of year for me. Not sad, exactly, although sometimes it manifests itself in a really cranky way (to my family at least) but rather thoughtful. It's as if I fall into my own head and can't get out. Until I saw this quote, and I knew.

I'm comfortable. That posse of runners (that I SO envied of other runners and writers), well I HAVE that now. Distances don't intimidate me in their own right - I know I can cover them. How well is another story, but I'm not afraid of miles anymore. I've run farther than I've ever run this year, all without a SINGLE injury. I'm enjoying the hell out of myself, really.

SO now what? 2013 is looming, and I am not really sure what to chase.

But that is not the purpose of a boat.

There are things I DO know, sure. I know that a marathon is not in the cards for 2013. I know that I can break 2 hours in a half, because, oops - I already did that. I know that I'll continue running with the amazing group I've come to know and love and rely on.

So I'm on a quest for new ways to break out of my comfort zone. To sail my boat right out of the safety of the harbor. Part of this will come when I rejoin the ranks of the paid employees. But how to do that in my running world remains unclear.

I WILL volunteer at a race or races this year. So there's that.

Any other suggestions for me? That don't involve bikes? How do YOU break out of your comfort zone?

Veterans Marathon: Race Report

So, I went into this "secret race" as a way of getting it right for once this year. I wanted to run the race I know is in me.

Spoiler alert: That CERTAINLY did not happen. As a matter of fact, I walked at least 8 miles of this one. But I had a great weekend, and I didn't embarrass myself "much" bodily function wise, and I got to run.

It's all good.

Where to start? After much secret giggling, outfit planning, and weather stalking, Kim and I headed to Indiana Friday afternoon. I kinda sorta talked her into doing this craziness with me (or vice versa? I'm not really sure, haha) and since she knew another Kim who lives nearby, we ended up with a place to crash before the race.

Spending time with Kim and her husband, Dave, and their son, Leo, was wonderful. Their house and their vibe is warm and inviting, and they went out of their way to make us feel right at home. It was so fun eating and chatting and getting to know each other, and Leo was so stinking cute and I SO enjoyed loving on a toddler again. There are not nearly enough babies in my life now!

After not sleeping at all (both of us! darn pre-race excitement!) we got up and moving early. Had a little something to eat, and then headed out the door for the hour drive to the race start.

Early morning and ready to go :)

We made it there with zero issues, parked a couple blocks from the race start, picked up our packets in a matter of minutes (I LOVE SMALL RACES!!!!) and hung out for an hour or so. We managed to hit the potty line twice, take in all the pre-race festivities (they had a Veterans Day ceremony and proclamation, and the high school band played, a military plane fly over, and the Nation Anthem was sung too. I may or may not be getting the order correct. I was anxious to get going!) and then we made our way to the start.

I stole all Kim's pictures! Shamelessly! Wasn't the sky so cool!?

We got many many comments on our outfits. Which were pretty much all Kim's fault. We felt very patriotic!

We looked great!

We lined up in the back. The blue flags? The start. Small races rule.

We've come to the conclusion that we basically ran 2 half marathons this day. One was outstanding and perfect and the other? Well, not so much. We started out strong and steady. A little quicker than I planned, but the pace felt effortless. We kept reigning it in, and managed to hold a really steady pace right around 10 minute miles. We chatted. The course rolled a little, but the first hill that felt hard didn't come until mile 12. We chatted with an older gentleman who had run a gajillion marathons who lives very close to us.

We were basically kicking all kinds of ass.

(10:03, 10:03, 9:55, 9:59, 9:58, 9:59, 9:51, 9:55, 9:57, 10:11, 10:23, 10:12, 10:32)

So, yeah, out half split was 2:13. We were killing it.

The second half got hard. Right away. The sun came out and the wind picked up. We both were saying how tough it was feeling to hold the same pace.

And my stomach had started speaking up at mile 12 or so.

I considered stopping at the half - we ran past the start/finish line so there was the big bank of potties right there. But for whatever reason, I decided to keep on keeping on.

What can I say? I am not so smart.

We made it through the 14th mile, but now I was hurting. I was worried. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to a potty in time. It was ugly. I was praying that the next aid station would have a potty. But it didn't.

We were getting ready to turn the corner just past mile 15, and the aid station was set up right at the turn. And I didn't see one. Somehow, Kim knew how bad it was, and knew that I wouldn't ask for help.

So she did what any good running friend would do, and flagged down a guy in his yard and asked him if I could use his bathroom. I was WAY embarrassed for about a half a second and then my insides reminded me that HE WAS BEING KIND and TAKE ADVANTAGE STUPID. He couldn't have been nicer about it and I'll be forever thankful to him and his wife. And Kim.

One more big YAY for small races.

After that, I was feeling much better and thought I was still in it. Kim, however, was NOT feeling it so she sent me on ahead and told me to go get it. That worked for about a half mile. Then, my stomach was kind enough to let me know that it was IN NO WAY done with me for the day. I would run for a while, and it would twist up in knots. I'd walk to loosen it up. And then run again.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

We ran mile 18 on this:

Yeah. Effing big rock gravel road, oh how I hate you. I couldn't get my footing right. The wind was beating the shit out of me. I was sucking. My stomach hurt. And after I turned off of it? I let my race go. I accepted that it wasn't my day. And I decided that if it was going to suck? I may as well be hanging with my friend.

It wasn't long before she caught up to me and was feeling bad that it wasn't my day. But she was having issues of her own...that gravel jacked up her knee pretty bad. Bad enough that she was limping. So we walked. And walked. We talked to people. We cheered for people. We hung out with Jenny and Jeff for a while (who were also struggling) until Jeff decided that walking hurt worse than shuffling so we let them go.

At mile 23, though, we got to see Kimberly and Miles (who'd been waiting for us for ENTIRELY too long) and I was SO happy they waited :)

"It's OK, I poop my pants too!" - she had no idea how apt that was this day!

After that, I just wanted to be done. But you can only walk so fast, you know? Walk, clench, walk, clench. There weren't any potties for the last 5 miles. If I had one complaint (outside of the gravel mile) THIS would be it. Because I was still worried that it was going to be *that* kind of day. There were way too many close calls.

And then, after having to skip the beer stop (I SO wanted that beer) we were almost done. Kimberly and Miles went to the finish line to cheer us in, which was awesome. We managed to run the last little bit.

stole these from Kimberly - it was a "Bobbi and ALL THE KIMS" kind of weekend!

So, second half split was 3:28. We finished in 5:41:04. Is what it is. Garmin link here if you want to see it in all its glory.

And then we hung out and visited at the finish line for a little bit. It was great meeting Kimberly and Miles (who was the best high-fiver ever!) but I was beat. After a bit, when we couldn't find the YMCA offering showers to runners, we decided to trek back to Kim's again for a quick shower before hitting the road for home.

DONE!

Post race, I'd do it again. I liked the quiet rural course. The wind and hills on the back half are tough, but on a different day, I'd have handled them. The organization was great. The volunteers were stellar. The jacket we got I LOVE. The medal is cool, in the shape of Indiana. I wished for no gravel and more potties. But that's my only critique.

On the way home, Kim was worried that I had regrets. But I don't. Not one. I tried, and that's all we can do on any given day. I'm happy I got to hang out with my friend and meet new people and run in a new state. I gave it one last go for the year and it didn't go my way, but I had a great time trying and so it's still a win.

Moving on from marathons for a while. This body is tired. But I'll be back....

Emerging

I think I've stopped writing because I'm not sure what to say. I started writing here as a training log. As a means to connect with other people who share my same crazy addiction for whatever it is that running gives us every day. I've shared lots of my life, sure, but primarily it was a "running blog."

But there are only so many times I can say" I ran" or "I ran far" or "I ran fastish" before I'm boring myself.

Last week I was all set to NaBloPoMo and post something every day in November. But Sunday, October 28, which was our neighborhood Trick or Treat day, James woke up feeling off. Followed closely by the start of the end.

And the bubonic plague a stomach virus took over my house for the next week. No writing here, as it was all whining all the time. And also, "snuggle with me Mommy!" and I don't know ANYONE who can say no to that.

By Thursday I was sending James back to school, but keeping Julia home. (5 loads of laundry in the middle of the night later...) Friday it was Jenna. (*poke* at 4:30am..."Mom..I threw up." "Did you make it into the bathroom?" "Yes." "Turn off your alarm and go back to bed.") Friday morning I was congratulating Jack for being the "last man standing" - he looked great. He was smiling. I sent him to school.

And the called me at 10am to come get him. Sorry bud.

Whatever this thing is, it lingers. The vomiting doesn't, but the out-of-sorts kids with no appetites last for few days. So it's been cranky and miserable 'round here.

Yesterday, though, everyone went to school. At the same time. Thankful for that.

Today, I am running and voting. Not necessarily in that order, but both will happen.

Big things are planned for the weekend ahead. I'll tell you about that later...

For now, I'll leave you with this - a little fun before the shit hit the fan...

James...I see you...