Thanks for all your kind comments, words of wisdom, hugs. Every once in a while I argue with myself that my time could be much better spent doing something other than blogging, and then I have a day like that and I remember *exactly* why I love doing this. You rock.
This is the last crazy nutso week of school. The girls were both home on Tuesday as sick as ever. Yesterday, I sent them both to school. It was the first day in more than a week and a half that all my kids were where they belonged for the day. I ran 6 AMAZING miles with my friend Sarah - I seriously had a shitty grin on my face for the entire run - in my very favorite spot on the entire Des Plaines River Trail. The weather was perfect. The company was great.
It helped.
The kids got home from school and I wonder if I should have sent the girls. They were both in rough shape. Jenna had trouble saying anything without snarling, she was THAT cranky. They all went to bed early, and I didn't want to send them to school today, but they both begged, and I let them go, against my better judgement. It's only a half day after all.
Sigh.
I went to my strength class and my head wasn't in it. I got a hug from Kim, that helped. I nearly burst into tears in the middle of the workout. Not because it was hard (and holy hell, it was hard), but more because I could not focus, and it was frustrating me.
I nearly ran again when I got home. I really should have.
Today it is raining. And cold. And I hope it stops later, but I will run anyway even if it doesn't, because my run is the only thing holding me up right now.
I need to get my head in a better place, hopefully before the kids get home, but at least before James' end of the year preschool concert tonight. He is so excited And that says something right there - that he is looking forward to it.
It's going to be an emotional night, but in a good way. I'll share pictures tomorrow...
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
A Downer of a Post
*WARNING* Nothing fun, light, witty, happy to follow. My blog. My rules. There's a red x if you need it - you will not offend me, I promise.
I'm in a funk - I'm writing down all my funky shit to hopefully let it go. It's taper after all. Mental training time. I don't have the mind space for this stuff, so I'm putting it here instead.
***
I found out yesterday that my good friend's brother committed suicide over the weekend. I am unbelievably sad for her and her family. What a tragic loss.
But on the flip side of that I am unbelievably angry.
I have a lot of life experience with suicide. So much that somewhere along the line I stopped feeling sorry for the person who died (they are, in fact, gone - that's permanent. No use wasting any emotion on them) and instead I was left with a lot of anger and resentment.
Suicide is so fucking selfish.
I realize that my reaction is probably unhealthy. That I may have some "issues" that need fixing on this front. But you know what? I'm at peace with my pissed-offedness. I obviously do not share those feelings with the grieving family. Instead I own them in my heart and seethe in silence.
Yeah, clearly unresolved issues here.
But so sad for my friend, who is heartbroken.
***
I got a call after my recent mammogram that the radiologist noticed "changes" on both sides and I need to go in again next week for an extra thorough boob squishing and ultrasound.
This scares the crap out of me.
Way too much cancer happening around me. I am trying to remain hopeful that this is nothing. That the changes are there because I am in 100% better physical shape than I was the last time I had a mammogram. But that's getting increasingly difficult for me.
I'm not talking about it to anyone because that of course makes it REAL.
I don't want it to be REAL.
So, yeah. Scared.
***
Both girls are home from school today. I feel a little bad for them, because all that patience I had when the boys were sick last week got all used up and now I am just cranky.
PLEASE don't let me get sick right now! NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT!
***
Sorry this post was no fun. I'm hopeful that putting it out here helps me let it go. Thanks for listening...
I'm in a funk - I'm writing down all my funky shit to hopefully let it go. It's taper after all. Mental training time. I don't have the mind space for this stuff, so I'm putting it here instead.
***
I found out yesterday that my good friend's brother committed suicide over the weekend. I am unbelievably sad for her and her family. What a tragic loss.
But on the flip side of that I am unbelievably angry.
I have a lot of life experience with suicide. So much that somewhere along the line I stopped feeling sorry for the person who died (they are, in fact, gone - that's permanent. No use wasting any emotion on them) and instead I was left with a lot of anger and resentment.
Suicide is so fucking selfish.
I realize that my reaction is probably unhealthy. That I may have some "issues" that need fixing on this front. But you know what? I'm at peace with my pissed-offedness. I obviously do not share those feelings with the grieving family. Instead I own them in my heart and seethe in silence.
Yeah, clearly unresolved issues here.
But so sad for my friend, who is heartbroken.
***
I got a call after my recent mammogram that the radiologist noticed "changes" on both sides and I need to go in again next week for an extra thorough boob squishing and ultrasound.
This scares the crap out of me.
Way too much cancer happening around me. I am trying to remain hopeful that this is nothing. That the changes are there because I am in 100% better physical shape than I was the last time I had a mammogram. But that's getting increasingly difficult for me.
I'm not talking about it to anyone because that of course makes it REAL.
I don't want it to be REAL.
So, yeah. Scared.
***
Both girls are home from school today. I feel a little bad for them, because all that patience I had when the boys were sick last week got all used up and now I am just cranky.
PLEASE don't let me get sick right now! NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT!
***
Sorry this post was no fun. I'm hopeful that putting it out here helps me let it go. Thanks for listening...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Grandma's Marathon Training: Weeks 14 & 15
So. Three weeks to go. Bring on the taper.
This is going to be quick and dirty - just posting it for posterity (and so I can look back on it). You won't hurt my feelings if you skim/skip it. :)
Week 14:
Monday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = Rest
Tuesday: Plan = 6 tempo. Actual = 8 at 9:52 pace. Best. Run. Ever.
Wednesday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = 5 at 10:52 pace with Sarah.
Thursday: Plan = Rest. Actual = Strength class. Jack's band concert was Wednesday night, so I rescheduled. It was a great kettle bell class.
Friday: Plan = 8 tempo. Actual = 5 at 9:24 pace. Freaking hot. And hard. TWSS.
Saturday: Plan = 12 easy. Actual = 6 at 10:09 pace. I ran with Kate super early to beat the heat.
Sunday: Plan = Rest. Actual = 13.12 at 11:31 pace. This was the half with Michelle.
Week total miles: 37.12 I was super pleased with how this week played out.
Week 15:
Monday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = Rest
Tuesday: Plan = 10 tempo. Actual = Rest
Wednesday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = 5 at 10:30 pace following strength class, where we used body weight bars to do crazy pull ups, push ups, and dips. HARD workout. Nice run.
Thursday: Plan = Rest. Actual = 5 at 9:52 pace. Everything about this run sucked. It was either running in a cloud of gnats or running into a 20mph headwind. Pick your poison. 5 was just all I could do, especially when my right calf kept spasming.
Friday: Plan = 10 tempo. Actual = rest. I opted to save my leg for my long run. Stretched a lot.
Saturday: Plan = 20 easy. Actual = 19 at 10:55 pace. This pace is misleading. The first part of this run felt so good. In retrospect, I was probably going a bit too fast. But I was hoping to hold on. At the end, I crashed hard and burned out. It was the culmination of a lot of things. I spent entirely too much time in my (stick shift) car this week. Monday, it was 2 hours in stop and go traffic. I think that;s what caused my calf to get pissed off. I was eating not horribly, but not normally either. My kids are sick, so I haven;t really slept in a week. (I feel like I have a newborn - up every hour. Suck.) So that I crashed at the end of this run was really no huge surprise. I'm thankful it felt as good as it did for as long as it did.
Splits for the curious: (10:28, 10:14, 10:24, 10:15, 10:11, 10:08, 10:16, 11:37 (gu = texting Sarah), 9:50, 10:04, 10:14, 9:48, 11:21(gu), 11:17(stomach starts its revolt), met Sarah here and stopped for potty break, 10:46, 11:05, 12:10(wheels start to fall off), 13:28, 14:00)
Considering I spent 90 minutes in my car trying to wait out a lightning storm, bailed, went home, and still managed to get this in mid-afternoon, I'm calling it an overall success.
Sunday: Plan = Rest. Actual = Rest
Week total miles: 29.14 (of a total 50 planned) Ugh.
While this week was a disappointment, shit happens. Would it have been nice to have my last week of heavy training more solid? Of course. But this doesn't diminish the work I've put in already.
Taper time! 20 days to go.
This is going to be quick and dirty - just posting it for posterity (and so I can look back on it). You won't hurt my feelings if you skim/skip it. :)
Week 14:
Monday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = Rest
Tuesday: Plan = 6 tempo. Actual = 8 at 9:52 pace. Best. Run. Ever.
Wednesday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = 5 at 10:52 pace with Sarah.
Thursday: Plan = Rest. Actual = Strength class. Jack's band concert was Wednesday night, so I rescheduled. It was a great kettle bell class.
Friday: Plan = 8 tempo. Actual = 5 at 9:24 pace. Freaking hot. And hard. TWSS.
Saturday: Plan = 12 easy. Actual = 6 at 10:09 pace. I ran with Kate super early to beat the heat.
Sunday: Plan = Rest. Actual = 13.12 at 11:31 pace. This was the half with Michelle.
Week total miles: 37.12 I was super pleased with how this week played out.
Week 15:
Monday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = Rest
Tuesday: Plan = 10 tempo. Actual = Rest
Wednesday: Plan = 5 easy. Actual = 5 at 10:30 pace following strength class, where we used body weight bars to do crazy pull ups, push ups, and dips. HARD workout. Nice run.
Thursday: Plan = Rest. Actual = 5 at 9:52 pace. Everything about this run sucked. It was either running in a cloud of gnats or running into a 20mph headwind. Pick your poison. 5 was just all I could do, especially when my right calf kept spasming.
Friday: Plan = 10 tempo. Actual = rest. I opted to save my leg for my long run. Stretched a lot.
Saturday: Plan = 20 easy. Actual = 19 at 10:55 pace. This pace is misleading. The first part of this run felt so good. In retrospect, I was probably going a bit too fast. But I was hoping to hold on. At the end, I crashed hard and burned out. It was the culmination of a lot of things. I spent entirely too much time in my (stick shift) car this week. Monday, it was 2 hours in stop and go traffic. I think that;s what caused my calf to get pissed off. I was eating not horribly, but not normally either. My kids are sick, so I haven;t really slept in a week. (I feel like I have a newborn - up every hour. Suck.) So that I crashed at the end of this run was really no huge surprise. I'm thankful it felt as good as it did for as long as it did.
Splits for the curious: (10:28, 10:14, 10:24, 10:15, 10:11, 10:08, 10:16, 11:37 (gu = texting Sarah), 9:50, 10:04, 10:14, 9:48, 11:21(gu), 11:17(stomach starts its revolt), met Sarah here and stopped for potty break, 10:46, 11:05, 12:10(wheels start to fall off), 13:28, 14:00)
Considering I spent 90 minutes in my car trying to wait out a lightning storm, bailed, went home, and still managed to get this in mid-afternoon, I'm calling it an overall success.
Sunday: Plan = Rest. Actual = Rest
Week total miles: 29.14 (of a total 50 planned) Ugh.
While this week was a disappointment, shit happens. Would it have been nice to have my last week of heavy training more solid? Of course. But this doesn't diminish the work I've put in already.
Taper time! 20 days to go.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday: FWP
First World Problem.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Race Report: Chicagoland Spring Half Marathon
I signed up for this half in support of my sister. She wanted to train for and run a half before starting to train for Chicago this year. Her knee has been acting up, and it was supposed to be hot as hell, but we were still shooting for a 2:10 finish.
Race morning went off without a hitch. We randomly found each other in the parking lot, I picked up my bib, and we hit the port-o-potties with time to spare. I ran into Britt on our way towards our pace group, who looked cute as ever while she was dancing to try to shake off nerves. So glad we got to meet!
In no time at all, we were off and running. We settled into a 10ish pace, and the first miles ticked off uneventfully. It was already hot, and the sun was brutal, but I was feeling really good. It was fun being in a supporting role, with someone else's goal in mind instead of my own. (10:04, 9:57, 10:03, 9:55)
During mile 5, we stopped to walk through a water station. And when we started running again, I knew Michelle was struggling. She could no longer hold pace. Her breathing was labored. In short, the heat was kicking her ass. It soon became clear that we needed to abandon any time goal, and shift to a "finish in one piece" goal. (10:26, 11:56, 10:30)
I was feeling bad that she got such a crappy day, but what can you do? She was visibly upset around mile 7 or 8 - it's tough to watch your goals go out the window - but I tried to pep talk her out of it. I was worried that I was being annoying, but she assured me I was helping. We continued running when we could and walking when she needed to. (12:12, 11:36, 13:21)
During mile 11, there was a long potty stop. I refilled my handheld at a water station while I waited for her. Her stomach was not being nice to her in the heat. Her hands were swollen. I spent the rest of the race making sure she drank often. (14:05, 12:17)
The last mile was rough for her. I played the "run to that street sign" game a lot. Her watch was way off, so I updated her on where we were. We focused on continuous forward progress. And soon, we were close to the finish, and ran it in. (13:42, 10:52 for the last 0.12)
This was a whole new experience for me. I was so focused on Michelle, I never once struggled with "what the hell mile am I at?" or "WHERE IS THE GD FINISH LINE?" I was really really happy with how I handled the heat - clearly I am not a hot weather runner, as evidenced by past blowups, but Sunday I felt pretty strong. This was key - it helped me be there for my sister with none of my own personal bs in the way. I loved being there for her - I know just how much it sucks to be out there melting all by yourself. I am so proud of her for finishing.
I am hoping that her next race is nicer to her. But that's the thing about race day - we have no control. This was a great lesson in taking what you are given and rolling with it. Not easy, for sure, but it'll serve her well in the future.
Race morning went off without a hitch. We randomly found each other in the parking lot, I picked up my bib, and we hit the port-o-potties with time to spare. I ran into Britt on our way towards our pace group, who looked cute as ever while she was dancing to try to shake off nerves. So glad we got to meet!
In no time at all, we were off and running. We settled into a 10ish pace, and the first miles ticked off uneventfully. It was already hot, and the sun was brutal, but I was feeling really good. It was fun being in a supporting role, with someone else's goal in mind instead of my own. (10:04, 9:57, 10:03, 9:55)
During mile 5, we stopped to walk through a water station. And when we started running again, I knew Michelle was struggling. She could no longer hold pace. Her breathing was labored. In short, the heat was kicking her ass. It soon became clear that we needed to abandon any time goal, and shift to a "finish in one piece" goal. (10:26, 11:56, 10:30)
I was feeling bad that she got such a crappy day, but what can you do? She was visibly upset around mile 7 or 8 - it's tough to watch your goals go out the window - but I tried to pep talk her out of it. I was worried that I was being annoying, but she assured me I was helping. We continued running when we could and walking when she needed to. (12:12, 11:36, 13:21)
During mile 11, there was a long potty stop. I refilled my handheld at a water station while I waited for her. Her stomach was not being nice to her in the heat. Her hands were swollen. I spent the rest of the race making sure she drank often. (14:05, 12:17)
The last mile was rough for her. I played the "run to that street sign" game a lot. Her watch was way off, so I updated her on where we were. We focused on continuous forward progress. And soon, we were close to the finish, and ran it in. (13:42, 10:52 for the last 0.12)
 |
| cheerleading for my sis |
 |
| almost there! |
 |
| post race with bling |
I am hoping that her next race is nicer to her. But that's the thing about race day - we have no control. This was a great lesson in taking what you are given and rolling with it. Not easy, for sure, but it'll serve her well in the future.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Mute
I am still here, but I'm rather speechless lately.
Even commenting seems nearly too much for my brain, but I try...
Life is good. And busy and crazy. And stressful.
Running is sublime. No, really. It is.
So I'm just checking things off my list, one by one, wrapping up the school year. It's too overwhelming to look at as a whole, so I'm trying to take it piece by piece.
This weekend, I'm running a local half marathon with my sister. She had originally wanted to race the hell out of it (like sub-2) but her knee has been giving her trouble. And there's already a heat advisory. So we're just going to run it strong.
Next week is project week around here - lots of house stuff has been neglected, and John is taking the week off and we are going to work.
So I'm sure once taper goodness has set in I'll have lots more to say.
But for now, I'm still here, just quiet...
Even commenting seems nearly too much for my brain, but I try...
Life is good. And busy and crazy. And stressful.
Running is sublime. No, really. It is.
So I'm just checking things off my list, one by one, wrapping up the school year. It's too overwhelming to look at as a whole, so I'm trying to take it piece by piece.
This weekend, I'm running a local half marathon with my sister. She had originally wanted to race the hell out of it (like sub-2) but her knee has been giving her trouble. And there's already a heat advisory. So we're just going to run it strong.
Next week is project week around here - lots of house stuff has been neglected, and John is taking the week off and we are going to work.
So I'm sure once taper goodness has set in I'll have lots more to say.
But for now, I'm still here, just quiet...
Monday, May 14, 2012
Grandma's Marathon Training: Week 13
This week was a little bit crazy. But overall, it was still a good week, even if I missed a run. Life happens :)
On the plan:
M - 5 easy
T - 10 tempo
W - 5 easy
Th - rest
F - 10 tempo
Sa - 20 easy
Su - cross
And my reality?
Monday: 5.05 miles at a 9:48 pace. I ran some hills in Grant Woods with Kim and a couple women from the running club. It was sticky - not super warm, but the humidity made it FEEL like it was.
Tuesday: 10.55 miles at a 10:20 pace. I met my friend Sarah for a run on the DesPlaines River trail. Her knee has been bugging her, so we took it easy (10:48, 11:32, 11:05, 11:15). Her knee twinged in the second mile, but loosen up after that. After Sarah left, I picked it up for a few (9:45, 9:31, 9:44, 9:34) but then I got really tired, so I slowed down at the end (10:00, 10:09, 10:37 for the last bit).
It was a STUNNING day. We saw so much wildlife! And butterflies were everywhere.
Wednesday: This morning was James' IEP meeting. I was hoping to get a run in later, but insert an emergency night meeting for John, and that just never happened. I did make it to strength class, which felt tougher than last week (we did the same dumbbell circuit with more resistance band stuff in between) but I was much less sore afterwards.
Thursday: Zoo field trip with James and his class. Does this count as a workout? James thought so...
Friday: James had no school, and I was planning an evening 10 miler, but then my friends' emergency preempted everything. I managed the logistical nightmare of getting all 7 kids to my home after school, we ate hotdogs, played outside, and had a giant sleepover. It ended up really fun, despite the circumstances surrounding it. No running for me.
Saturday: I had a really lovely early morning run. I was hoping for 10, but was happy with the 9.15 miles at a 9:55 pace that I DID get done. It took almost 5 miles for me to actually feel good, but then I felt GREAT. I came home to John cooking pancakes for the whole crew, and he even made some for me! :) Happy.
I cleaned up quick and drove 90 minutes south of us for a baby shower. I ate so much AMAZING food, and visited with my friend (I hadn't seen her in years - she lives in Indiana now so we keep in touch via facebook) and then trekked home. I called it a night early - I had a big run coming up!
Sunday: Another early wake up call (I get up hours earlier on the weekend - it's crazy) and my stomach was a pissed off mfer. Great. I took it easy and choked down breakfast and coffee and waited for my stomach to feel better. Thankfully, it was ok by the time I needed to leave. I was nervous knowing I didn't have Kim for this run (she has been spoiling me!) but happy that a bunch of running club peeps were coming out.
We started at 6:30 from Independence Grove, and headed north. We ended up running nearly 6 before heading back. I ran most of this with Carrie (who was also doing 20) and Maria. With a couple miles to go before getting back to IG, Chris met us on her bike. She sherpa'd for us the rest of the morning, which was awesome. We left Maria and picked up Garett, and continued south (the much LESS hilly direction).
The entire run felt solid. My head was on so much better than the last 20. The only hiccup was a potty emergency around 15, which forced us to run a little further south than we intended to get to a bathroom. But that was it - no big deal. I felt great! 20.25 miles done at a 10:36 pace.
Week total miles: 45
I spent the rest of Mother's Day chilling with my family. A couple naps, a giant 5 Guys burger for dinner, cards and flowers from my family, perfect. I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day too!
On the plan:
M - 5 easy
T - 10 tempo
W - 5 easy
Th - rest
F - 10 tempo
Sa - 20 easy
Su - cross
And my reality?
Monday: 5.05 miles at a 9:48 pace. I ran some hills in Grant Woods with Kim and a couple women from the running club. It was sticky - not super warm, but the humidity made it FEEL like it was.
Tuesday: 10.55 miles at a 10:20 pace. I met my friend Sarah for a run on the DesPlaines River trail. Her knee has been bugging her, so we took it easy (10:48, 11:32, 11:05, 11:15). Her knee twinged in the second mile, but loosen up after that. After Sarah left, I picked it up for a few (9:45, 9:31, 9:44, 9:34) but then I got really tired, so I slowed down at the end (10:00, 10:09, 10:37 for the last bit).
It was a STUNNING day. We saw so much wildlife! And butterflies were everywhere.
 |
| This crane and his friend were not so happy to see us. Sarah described their chatter as "dinosaur noises" |
 |
| Hissing mama geese and goslings |
Thursday: Zoo field trip with James and his class. Does this count as a workout? James thought so...
 |
| the bus ride home :) |
Saturday: I had a really lovely early morning run. I was hoping for 10, but was happy with the 9.15 miles at a 9:55 pace that I DID get done. It took almost 5 miles for me to actually feel good, but then I felt GREAT. I came home to John cooking pancakes for the whole crew, and he even made some for me! :) Happy.
I cleaned up quick and drove 90 minutes south of us for a baby shower. I ate so much AMAZING food, and visited with my friend (I hadn't seen her in years - she lives in Indiana now so we keep in touch via facebook) and then trekked home. I called it a night early - I had a big run coming up!
Sunday: Another early wake up call (I get up hours earlier on the weekend - it's crazy) and my stomach was a pissed off mfer. Great. I took it easy and choked down breakfast and coffee and waited for my stomach to feel better. Thankfully, it was ok by the time I needed to leave. I was nervous knowing I didn't have Kim for this run (she has been spoiling me!) but happy that a bunch of running club peeps were coming out.
We started at 6:30 from Independence Grove, and headed north. We ended up running nearly 6 before heading back. I ran most of this with Carrie (who was also doing 20) and Maria. With a couple miles to go before getting back to IG, Chris met us on her bike. She sherpa'd for us the rest of the morning, which was awesome. We left Maria and picked up Garett, and continued south (the much LESS hilly direction).
The entire run felt solid. My head was on so much better than the last 20. The only hiccup was a potty emergency around 15, which forced us to run a little further south than we intended to get to a bathroom. But that was it - no big deal. I felt great! 20.25 miles done at a 10:36 pace.
Week total miles: 45
I spent the rest of Mother's Day chilling with my family. A couple naps, a giant 5 Guys burger for dinner, cards and flowers from my family, perfect. I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day too!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Priorities
So far, May is being at least as big a pain in the ass as I anticipated, if not bigger. Somehow, the end of the school year just does that - program, concert, field trips, ceremonies, dances - the kids' stuff is completely off the hook.
John's place of employment is in complete upheaval as well. Hello, stress for breakfast every day.
I'm trying to manage the flow of things, in addition to my biggest training month so far, and while I'm not failing, I'm not thriving either. Kind of holding my head above water, sometimes able to swim, and sometimes forced to tread water.
This week, the focus had been James. His final IEP meeting before kindergarten was so good and positive and incredible, that I cried. And I wasn't the only one in that room in tears, even if I WAS the only person with any blood ties to the kid in question. His team is beyond amazing. I needed them to know. Come to find out, one of the other teachers (one who has known him since the VERY BEGINNING) was also brought to tears by my son last week. All while watching him manage a situation that didn't go the way he wished, where he was able to CALM HIMSELF DOWN with no intervention from anyone else. All by himself. He calmed himself down. I cannot begin to express how huge that was. Is.
Yesterday we got to go to the zoo. What a wonderful time spent just us looking at what he loves the most - animals. It was a gorgeous day and we had so much fun together.
My running this week started off great and then a host of life things got in the way. James has no school today, but I was planing on getting back on track tonight.
Then I got a call that my friends' mother passed away in Arizona and could I please get their kids from school and keep them overnight?
There's only one possible answer to a question like that. Of course. I'll take care of everything, you take care of you.
Running may or may not be happening later. Seven kids in my house WILL be happening later.
But sometimes, you have to let it go.
Life and friendship are more important today.
John's place of employment is in complete upheaval as well. Hello, stress for breakfast every day.
I'm trying to manage the flow of things, in addition to my biggest training month so far, and while I'm not failing, I'm not thriving either. Kind of holding my head above water, sometimes able to swim, and sometimes forced to tread water.
This week, the focus had been James. His final IEP meeting before kindergarten was so good and positive and incredible, that I cried. And I wasn't the only one in that room in tears, even if I WAS the only person with any blood ties to the kid in question. His team is beyond amazing. I needed them to know. Come to find out, one of the other teachers (one who has known him since the VERY BEGINNING) was also brought to tears by my son last week. All while watching him manage a situation that didn't go the way he wished, where he was able to CALM HIMSELF DOWN with no intervention from anyone else. All by himself. He calmed himself down. I cannot begin to express how huge that was. Is.
Yesterday we got to go to the zoo. What a wonderful time spent just us looking at what he loves the most - animals. It was a gorgeous day and we had so much fun together.
My running this week started off great and then a host of life things got in the way. James has no school today, but I was planing on getting back on track tonight.
Then I got a call that my friends' mother passed away in Arizona and could I please get their kids from school and keep them overnight?
There's only one possible answer to a question like that. Of course. I'll take care of everything, you take care of you.
Running may or may not be happening later. Seven kids in my house WILL be happening later.
But sometimes, you have to let it go.
Life and friendship are more important today.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Race Report: WI Half Marathon (in which I break up with my old PR)
So I'm skipping a week 12 training report, mostly because I did so very little last week. One 8 mile run with friends, and one little half marathon with friends. Just over 21 miles for the week. Oops.
So, Saturday morning was the big day. I got up at 4 (I have to chill for at least 90 minutes before I leave my house - to some, this may seem a little excessive, but it works for me and my wonky GI system). I stalked the weather, which was still looking good - 50s and it looked like the rain would miss us. I kept looking at the radar. I ate my cliff bar and drank my coffee and enjoyed the silence of my house.
Kenosha is only a 25 minute drive for me, and I know the area enough and there is PLENTY of free parking, so its a very "no added stress" race for me to do. This was my PR race last year, and I was counting on saying goodbye to that old PR. I knew a TON of people that were supposed to be there, so I was looking forward to some meet ups and photo ops before the start.
And then I got in my car and it started to POUR. *sigh*
The good news was that it stopped raining in time for the race start. The bad news was that people were hiding in dry spots, so the meet ups and photo ops were not so much. But I hooked up with my friend Carrie, whose bib I'd picked up, and found Marcia right away. We ran into my running club friend Adam (who ran a stunning 3:24 marathon) but never found any of the blogger peeps we were looking for. We went to line up at the start and found Kim who was running with her brother in law for his first half marathon. And then we were off!
I was worried about being too cold, but I wasn't at all. It was humid as hell, but cool. The course winds through downtown and then up the shore of Lake Michigan north of town and back again. Marcia was kind enough to hang with me, and the first few miles ticked off easily while we chatted. We saw Kim's husband several times on the course, and it always gave me a boost to see a familiar face. (9:43, 9:24, 9:26, 9:24)
The miles up the shore are an out and back, so I had fun cheering for people I knew. But at 8 or so when we turned back south, the wind off the lake was strong enough to suck the life out of me a little. It was also kind of crowded here, so it was tougher to maintain an even pace. There are only a few hills, and this year, I barely noted them. I struggled with them much more last year. We also found Jess, who ran the full, in this stretch, and she looked AMAZING. (9:22, 9:52, 9:39, 9:52)
In mile 9, I started cramping a little. First my calf, but I took some salt and that went away. But then my stomach started in. By 10, I had let Marcia go. Let the mental games begin. (9:22, 9:45)
Miles 11 and 12 were my toughest. I thought for a minute I'd have to find a port-o-potty, but it went away. Kim and Andrew caught and passed me, and Kim offered me lots of encouragement. I saw my family right at the 11 mark, and that gave me a huge boost, but I couldn't seem to hold onto it. This dude was intent on NOT letting me pass him, even though I was trying, and he was going TOO SLOW. He kept weaving in front of me then slowing down. I ended up getting pissed and sprinting by him just to leave him behind. Irritating. At the end of 12, I took my time on our final water stop. I had a big cup of water and drank it slowly. This ended up completely settling my stomach down for the last stretch. (9:56, 10:07)
After the turnaround (I was SO HAPPY that I was turning around, and not going straight with the full marathoners) the wind was right back in my face again. But for whatever reason, I got my second wind. I kept getting a little faster and a little faster. I was passing people like crazy. You need to understand, this RARELY happens to me - I'm usually the death march in kind of girl. But right then I was smiling again! I felt GOOD! When I crossed the line, the clock read 2:08, and I was thrilled with that! (9:41, and an 8:01 pace for the last 0.19)
Garmin time: 2:07:05
Official time: 2:07:01
1133/2416 finishers
517/1480 female finishers
88/245 in my age group
I quickly found my family - I was SO happy they came to cheer!
So that's the story of an 11:11 PR. 11 minutes! It is crazy to think how much stronger I am than I was last year. Last year I wouldn't have believed this was possible. I wish I'd have been a little stronger mentally in miles 11 and 12. But I guess if that's the only complaint I have, it was a damn good day.
Later, I got to squish my feet into pretty shoes and go to a wedding (how is it possible that I have a black "toe nail" on a toe that is currently nail-less? Ouch). It was nice to get out and dress up with John, and we had a great time.
After a busy but "training lazy" week, it's time to get back to it. 50 miles up! Let's do it.
So, Saturday morning was the big day. I got up at 4 (I have to chill for at least 90 minutes before I leave my house - to some, this may seem a little excessive, but it works for me and my wonky GI system). I stalked the weather, which was still looking good - 50s and it looked like the rain would miss us. I kept looking at the radar. I ate my cliff bar and drank my coffee and enjoyed the silence of my house.
Kenosha is only a 25 minute drive for me, and I know the area enough and there is PLENTY of free parking, so its a very "no added stress" race for me to do. This was my PR race last year, and I was counting on saying goodbye to that old PR. I knew a TON of people that were supposed to be there, so I was looking forward to some meet ups and photo ops before the start.
And then I got in my car and it started to POUR. *sigh*
The good news was that it stopped raining in time for the race start. The bad news was that people were hiding in dry spots, so the meet ups and photo ops were not so much. But I hooked up with my friend Carrie, whose bib I'd picked up, and found Marcia right away. We ran into my running club friend Adam (who ran a stunning 3:24 marathon) but never found any of the blogger peeps we were looking for. We went to line up at the start and found Kim who was running with her brother in law for his first half marathon. And then we were off!
 |
| me and Marcia and Kim, ready to go! |
 |
| Hi Steven! (photo courtesy of Kim's hubs) |
 |
| Running happy! |
In mile 9, I started cramping a little. First my calf, but I took some salt and that went away. But then my stomach started in. By 10, I had let Marcia go. Let the mental games begin. (9:22, 9:45)
Miles 11 and 12 were my toughest. I thought for a minute I'd have to find a port-o-potty, but it went away. Kim and Andrew caught and passed me, and Kim offered me lots of encouragement. I saw my family right at the 11 mark, and that gave me a huge boost, but I couldn't seem to hold onto it. This dude was intent on NOT letting me pass him, even though I was trying, and he was going TOO SLOW. He kept weaving in front of me then slowing down. I ended up getting pissed and sprinting by him just to leave him behind. Irritating. At the end of 12, I took my time on our final water stop. I had a big cup of water and drank it slowly. This ended up completely settling my stomach down for the last stretch. (9:56, 10:07)
After the turnaround (I was SO HAPPY that I was turning around, and not going straight with the full marathoners) the wind was right back in my face again. But for whatever reason, I got my second wind. I kept getting a little faster and a little faster. I was passing people like crazy. You need to understand, this RARELY happens to me - I'm usually the death march in kind of girl. But right then I was smiling again! I felt GOOD! When I crossed the line, the clock read 2:08, and I was thrilled with that! (9:41, and an 8:01 pace for the last 0.19)
Garmin time: 2:07:05
Official time: 2:07:01
1133/2416 finishers
517/1480 female finishers
88/245 in my age group
I quickly found my family - I was SO happy they came to cheer!
 |
| freezing again - just like last year :) |
Later, I got to squish my feet into pretty shoes and go to a wedding (how is it possible that I have a black "toe nail" on a toe that is currently nail-less? Ouch). It was nice to get out and dress up with John, and we had a great time.
After a busy but "training lazy" week, it's time to get back to it. 50 miles up! Let's do it.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
TTT again
1. Goals for this race (which is really the ONLY half marathon I have coming up that I was planning to "race") started out pretty lofty. As in:
A Goal - sub 2:05 (requires perfection, I know)
B Goal - sub 2:10 (my training suggests this is completely doable)
C Goal - PR (my current PR is 2:18 - this should be as close to a given as you can get on race day)
2. Unfortunately for all those lofty goals, I've been struggling with the same weird stomach thing that has afflicted 3/4 of my kids this week. Crampy, gurgly, nauseous feeling grossness. So. I'm not giving up on my goals yet, but I'm a little concerned at this point. It's only Thursday. Well see.
3. Saturday night John and i are going to his cousin's wedding. I know I am an old lady, but I'm having a tough time with the current bare-legged trend in dressing "up." I feel weird with no hose. And I have the most bizarre runner tan ever (as in I have blotchy looking skin "calf sleeves"). How do you combat this in a dress and nice shoes? Advice please!
A Goal - sub 2:05 (requires perfection, I know)
B Goal - sub 2:10 (my training suggests this is completely doable)
C Goal - PR (my current PR is 2:18 - this should be as close to a given as you can get on race day)
2. Unfortunately for all those lofty goals, I've been struggling with the same weird stomach thing that has afflicted 3/4 of my kids this week. Crampy, gurgly, nauseous feeling grossness. So. I'm not giving up on my goals yet, but I'm a little concerned at this point. It's only Thursday. Well see.
3. Saturday night John and i are going to his cousin's wedding. I know I am an old lady, but I'm having a tough time with the current bare-legged trend in dressing "up." I feel weird with no hose. And I have the most bizarre runner tan ever (as in I have blotchy looking skin "calf sleeves"). How do you combat this in a dress and nice shoes? Advice please!
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