Yesterday was my birthday.
And part of me really really wants to whine about what a shitty birthday it was - I mean, Friday my birthday massage with Kim got derailed by a puking child, and yesterday brought on 2 more puking children - but really, it all seems so insignificant.
Even with the puking children, I spent the day doing what I wanted to do, at first. I plopped my butt in my computer chair with my coffee and watched Shalane and Kara go after the Boston win.
But as runners, we all know how the afternoon went down. And I've been torn about whether to post anything about how it all made me feel, because I feel like how I FEEL is all wrong. But we can't really control how we feel, and my feelings change minute to minute, so I guess I'll just own them as mine and move on.
I spent the afternoon and evening checking up on every runner that I knew out there. Just like all of you did.
I turned away from it when I had to - it's all so overwhelming, especially as a member of a huge running community. We are ALL posting about the same thing, enough to where it feels almost self-indulgent. But then I'd remind myself that we're ALL runners, and we ALL feel so strongly about what happened. Again, struggling with how to feel.
And then I'd go back to whining about my shitty birthday. But then I remembered that a guy from my running club shared my birthday. And he was IN Boston. And I'd shut myself up.
Sorry this is so disjointed...I almost didn't post at all. But I feel like I need to mark this event. I don't think I'll ever forget how I felt yesterday - ALL the ways I felt yesterday.
Praying for peace for all of us. For all those in Boston. For runners. Spectators. Volunteers. First responders. We all know that the good will prevail...
Yes...happy belated bday!!!
ReplyDeleteI know...part of me doesn't want to talk about it, part of me ONLY wants to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteYES. This exactly.
DeleteDo what we can right? Accept your feelings and take care my dear!
ReplyDeleteAmen. We all want to say everything and nothing all at the same time. If it makes you feel better, I ended up at a burger joint by myself on my birthday. I decided from now on I'm officially moving my birthday to another day that will be more fabulous! HAHAHA! Happy Belated birthday friend :)
ReplyDeleteYes, yes and yes.
ReplyDeleteRunners know so many things about human nature.
I'm sorry you had a crap birthday. :(
Despite the circumstances, everyone deserves a happy birthday. So ... Happy Birthday!!
ReplyDeleteThis all sucks because even though it feels as if the world stopped at 2:50 p.m. April 15, 2013, it didn't. Kids still puke. Work is still there. Our hearts still beat. And so it's only natural, so to speak, that our feelings come in waves or are disjointed because we're trying to balance the horror of the events and the task at hand.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had a bummer of a birthday. As the comment above, everyone is deserving of a happy birthday.
P.S. I just looked at your races on the right - and we ran the same Chicago RnR. We were totally meant to be.
Well said Bobbi. Happy Belated Birthday! Hug your pukers and ride the emotional waves.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had such an awful birthday.
ReplyDeleteYes, good will prevail. Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteThis day will be marked as a good day, no matter the what has happened, because you were born on April 15th, and I can't imagine my life without such an amazing sister. You will always. Be. The wind beneath my wings. Thank you. God has truly blessed us...sometimes we just have to look a little harder to see those blessings.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! I try to remind myself, we , the country, have been extremely lucky. Lucky to united like we do, lucky to recover, and lucky to have these incidents be so rare.
ReplyDeleteKeep running!
Happy birthday! I hope you can sort things through in your head and bring peace to your heart. And I hope your puking kids are feeling better. We will absolutely prevail.
ReplyDeleteYou're an April 15 baby? So is my brother, a childhood friend, an adult friend and a blogging friend's twin girls. Such a popular day! Sometimes, I think we put too much emphasis on the birthday itself. If your kids are sick or there is some insane world event that interrupts your ability to enjoy your day, then it's ruined. I say, enjoy your entire week. And if the day itself isn't so great, surely another day this week can be great. It's still your birthday week - go out, enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and I relate 100% to everything that you said. The good WILL prevail, and this incident will only serve to further strengthen the already unbelievably strong running community.
ReplyDeleteAnd as I mentioned on Facebook, we'll do a belated birthday celebration for you at the Wisconsin Half in a few weeks!!! =)
On my birthday, a psychopath walked into a theater in Aurora and gunned down 60 people. You have every right to be pissed! Sorry that crazy people ruined your birthday :(. I think ANY emotion is justified in this situation. To next years birthdays!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYESSSS! To next year!
Delete