I have about 15 minutes, so I thought I'd check in. You are all ridiculously lucky that I didn't actually post yesterday, as I had this entire woe-is-me rant in my head, that I decided to delete rather than publish (you're welcome!!).
Basically, my run yesterday morning SUCKED ASS. And I wimped out and ran 3 instead of 4.5 (I know, I know, no huge deal, but it felt huge to me yesterday morning). And the self-doubt and lack of confidence set up shop in my head until my lovely daily mile friends told me nicely to KNOCK IT OFF. So you were spared! ;)
I have always felt that people are way more confident in my abilities than I am confident in myself. This goes for jobs, parenting, any sort of skill set. I feel like I get myself in way over my head and there's no way I can meet my "big goal" at the end. And this same doubt is starting to rear it's ugly head again with this marathon. Like seriously, who the hell am I to think I can actually DO this??
Gah, sorry, you STILL had to listen to me whine!
But in reality, I WANT to do this so badly I WANT to tell that doubt in my head to SHUT THE EFF UP ALREADY. Silence it for good.
Tomorrow, I am going to run 10 miles. Double digits. Holy crap.
But you know what? I AM going to run it. Every step might hurt and it might be a giant struggle, but I'll do it.
I will.
Good luck tomorrow!!!! Don't think of it as 10 whole miles. Break it down. Whenever I run 10miles I usually break it down into 2 mile intervals. Thinking of TEN just seems too big.
ReplyDeleteWe are our own worst critics. You can and WILL do 10 tomorrow. Believe it.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I wish a good 10 miles--may you run every single step :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I think we could be the same person. Good luck on the 10 miler! You can do it. I am having the same doubts on my 12 miler.
ReplyDeletehope you made it through your run! somedays are just tough, but that's what makes you keep coming back to running...to prove you can!
ReplyDeleteI hate those kind of days when you just feel so defeated and wonder why in the world you thought you could do something. But then the next day things turn around and you feel so empowered that it is worth it, right?
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the run. I know you can do it and hopefully you do too!
Every mile is a huge accomplishment. Good luck, walk when you need to. GO GIRL!
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