I have been struggling with blogging lately. Struggling with the words, with the "how much is too much." Struggling with the worry about pissing someone off.
I hate that.
So instead of letting it be a chore, I've been quiet. I took a step back. I waited.
I still worry about how much sharing is too much sharing. I don't want to offend or upset my family. But I don't want to lose this record of my life either.
It's a balancing act...
***
Are there things that are off limits on your blog? Do you try to put your whole self out there for everyone to see? Or do you hold back?
For me, it isn't ME I try to hold back, but more that I try to be respectful of my family. As my kids grow older, I share less personal stuff about them. I don't want them to ever be upset by something I've shared here. And I think if I was unsure, I'd ask them and then honor their wishes. But more often, I leave anything questionable out.
***
Gyros need to be avoided. I always forget - I crave them about once a year. And every time I indulge, I feel like shit. For days. This is not necessarily a secret, but more something I NEED TO REMEMBER LATER. Gyros, no matter HOW good they taste, are the DEVIL.
So, yeah, felt like crap all week.
***
While I was laying on the couch in misery, I was thinking.
I've never really raced a marathon.
I think I'm strong enough now. To many of you, it still won't be "fast" (which I realize is a completely relative term). But it will be MY fast.
4:30 y'all. Go big or go home. I'm about to get comfortable with pain.
I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks for sharing this! There are definitely certain things I don't discuss on the blog and it's more out of respect for others and their privacy. I'm really open but I understand that everyone else isn't that way.
ReplyDeleteI'm with ya on this one, Bobbi......sometimes it really is a balancing act to figure out just how much to share and how much to withhold. I also always try to keep in mind that anything I put online is basically going to live there forever for anyone to see...
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the marathon is concerned, I'm with ya on that one too! My one marathon (to-date) was a survival-fest (4:58), so I'm looking to PR at Boston next month. Not that I'm exactly going to "race" Boston (as my "fast" is "slow" to most people....good thing I don't care!), but I'm going to give it my best shot.
See you out there on the road!
I try to include things within my adventure life and just enough detail so that readers understand why certain things are important to me.
ReplyDeleteBut my blog has always been private to my family, so what they don't know won't make them angry, right? :) I'm also intentionally vague about where I live and careful to blot out my last name although it's easy to find it when you see my in a bib number and know what race I did...just cuz I don't know who is out there reading.
I know you can totally rock a 4:30!
I guess there's a reason I have multiple blogs. Also, because I've seen what can happen when you put too much out there. Ask me about it sometime.
ReplyDeleteSo now I basically don't put anything in public that I wouldn't say to someone's face. And if I'm going to share something about someone else I try to ask them first if it's okay.
I really want you to hit that 4:30 mark in a marathon!
I think balancing act is a great way to say it. I even think it's okay to write posts you don't publish. Just for you. Able to get it out but not make it public.
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly miserable this week too. I overdid it the other day and I'm worried. Really worried if I can pull of the marathon in June. My blog has mostly been about soup lately rather than running. Sucko! I'd rather run.
4:30! Go girl :)
I'm a lot like you, I think. I put a lot about myself out there, in particular my outdoors self. Everything I say on my blog is true, but I don't tell everything, by far. I limit what I say about my family in respect for the fact that THEY did not choose to be an open book and my husband, in particular, has FAR more boundaries than I do. I limit what I say about my job because of confidentiality.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I post my blog links on facebook, so most anyone who knows me knows I have a blog and has access to it. It's a great safeguard for me so that I never ever forget that what I'm posting is public and I CAN'T say anything I want/think/feel anonymously.
Oh, and I totally think you can do 4:30. You've been rocking your training and growing big time in confidence. You've got this.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely things I filter when I blog... as long as I don't post "in the heat of the moment." And 4:30 is pretty fast. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteBalance is really important, Bobbi, for sure. From the start, I have always been open about my blog. My family, extended family and friends know about it (and many read it). I haven't outright told anyone at work about my blog, but I write as if they're reading, too. No secrets there, for sure. Regarding my content, I had two really important experiences that helped shape my approach to blogging.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago, I felt like a friend of mine was putting her nose where it didn't belong. I blogged about it - telling her story that I had nothing to do with. She read it. She got pissed. And rightfully so. She never asked to be a part of this blog and I never asked permission to write about her life (not to mention, I never talked to her about what I was feeling - passive aggressive much?). Lesson learned: WRITE ABOUT MY LIFE AND ELIMINATE TELLING THE STORY OF OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES. Sweets and Gavin have immunity to that statement, because they ARE my life. (BTW, I have since made amends with that friend, thankfully.)
The second situation happened with my SIL. I have always written about my extended family (keeping the above lesson in mind). She never told me she read my blog and certainly didn't thank me for saying nice things about her family. However, I made one very vague passing remark about her family (NO ONE ELSE reading my blog would've known it was about them - and the remark was merely to provide context for a different point I was trying to make) and got in SERIOUS trouble about it. Lesson learned: WHILE IT IS MY BLOG AND I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT, THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO WRITING AND I HAVE TO BE PREPARED TO FACE THE MUSIC. In her case, I stopped writing about her family altogether to avoid any future altercations. We don't see them that much anyway, so it wasn't difficult to do.
I think blogging is every evolving. You make decisions based on past experiences and current situations ... and hope that your reasoning still holds true in the future. The fact you even think about these things means you're a respectful blogger. Maybe password protected posts is the answer to your situation?
Thank you so much for all of this! And it's funny - I've given the "why don't you password protect some posts?" advice before, but I never thought to do it myself - thanks for the reminder :)
DeleteI'm pretty much an open book about me, myself and I but other things not so much. I do talk about the kids and post pictures hubby is not keen to appear in blog land and I respect that. Friends, family & people I don't know read my blog and I don't write anything I wouldn't say to them in person.
ReplyDeleteoh, and you would ROCK a marathon :-)
4:30, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI don't limit my me talk on my blog - I am really open about all that. But vague about other crap. Hate that. People misinterpret so much .
4:30 is going to be my goal for Chicago! (my goal for rockford is just not dying :) ) I am pretty open on my blog, but try to stay away from controversial topics like religion and politics. I don't have kids either....
ReplyDeleteIt is a balancing act and I'm still in the early stages of figuring it out.
ReplyDelete"I'm about to get comfortable with pain." I love that attitude! You can do it!!
YEAH BABY! 4:30!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard...I know I've pissed serveral off, and have been pissed off by negative comments, but I won't let it stop me from being me. The kid thing, I totally get, I suppose why I keep most things out about my struggles with them in particular...
ReplyDeleteLove you lady...please tell me you are doing the 4:30 in Wisconsin? Because I'd DIE, LOL...
No no no - 4:30 is for Grandma's. Chicago is ALL YOU BABY!
Delete4:30 you got this! I've seen your splits lately. You are faster than what you think!!
ReplyDeleteLol...it IS all about the race report. :D You've got your priorities straight, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI read Flying Kites blog which isn't a running blog, but rather a family scrapbook type blog. She has an autistic son adn is constantly walking a fine line about what to share and what not to.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I really avoid talking about work. It's been a rough few months at work and I've soooo much wanted to just talk about the stress that it's causing, but my new and old boss both know about my blog and I would be put into an uncomfortable position if I wrote about work and they were to read it. I do occasionally mention programs or events that I'm doing with work as a way of promoting them to my local readers, but that's pretty much the line. I also rarely talk about my husband on my blog because he works at the same place I do and it would just be odd for him to run into a co-worker that says, "Oh I see you ate at Wendy's last night and had a double cheeseburger" (or whatever). My husband is a "keep to yourself" kinda guy.
I love your blog so I hope you keep on doing it. Whatever you discuss is A-OK with me!
Racing a marathon 4.5 hours - awesome!!!!! I could never set my sights on such a FAST FAST FAST time!!!! I hope you stay healthy and stay on track with your training so that you can reach your goals. I'm cheering for you!!!!
the running parts, I tell them all on the blog...
ReplyDeletethe personal stuff...not all..I do discuss my kids for now
they are still very young...I dont go in details about our family life..I dont share my blog on facebook ..most of my non running friends dont know about my blog and nobody in my family reads it ...
4:30! you got this.
I really am struggling with my blog, too. I think people have pretty much given up on me because I take a lot longer to write nowadays, evident with my last few posts. Haha. Oh well. I still like reading about my favorite peeps :).
ReplyDeleteI like to share my running journey on my blog, but the personal stuff not so much. I may share stuff about my kids and their adventures if something exciting happens....but I bet most people wouldn't even realize that I AM married. Haha. Never talk about it.
I remember the first time I actually raced a marathon...it felt really good actually. You can do it!! :)
Are we living the same life? Too funny, I just posted about never have actually raced a race, I've always just run them.
ReplyDeleteI'm not blogging nearly as much as I used to, mostly because my work-life has changed and I've added two hours of commuting time to my day. That cuts into a lot of things. I also don't share much about my family at all, except the positive. I've had some significant struggles with one of my kids and I just don't feel it's fair to broadcast it all over the internet. That stuff is out there forever.
And 4:30 - girl, you KNOW you've got that one in the bag and I'll be right there next to you!!!
You've got the 4:30 in you for sure! I believe it!
ReplyDeleteI think the same thing often- that I don't push myself hard enough during a race. I am always so concerned I will bonk. Maybe I need to do the same!
I totally get this. It is hard lately to figure out what I can share and what I can't. I usually just don't share anything that I have doubt about, which leaves me writing less and less.
ReplyDeleteI know you can do the 4:30!
I feel like I share more than I do on my blog I think. Does that make any sense? Not.
ReplyDeleteThe prospect of racing a marathon scares me. But it's all in semantics because obviously I've stayed on goal pace for some. 4:30 sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Bring it girl!
I get it. I do... there is such a difference between racing a marathon and running a marathon... and then again, there is no difference at all.
ReplyDeleteYou've got this. I believe it. Look at your #'s. They're there.